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So my trip to America was pretty bizarre.  The Peace Corps recommends that volunteers don't go home for the first year and I got an idea why that recommendation exists.  After living pretty simply here, ok maybe some here live more simply than I do, but for me, I live simply here.  Anyway going from that simple lifestyle and heading to the craziness of Ft. Lauderdale for New Years was pretty mind blowing.  My friend's beautiful home on the intercoastal with his amazing boat and a huge keg of my favorite beer, the variety of food and the monster supermarkets almost short circuited my brain.  It was bliss, but it also reminded me how much all of that bliss could have bought some new computers for the school, or funded a lunch program for a 1000 kids or so...  The perspective I have gained here far surpasses any perspective that I thought I already had.  Working at a country club for weddings and seeing all the food being wasted every day and thinking that "hey somebody is starving somewhere and could really use this..." doesn't compare to actually being physically next to people who are REALLY poor.  This affected me more than I thought it would, and made the experience back home really just "weird".  Don't get me wrong I had a great time and I loved seeing my friends and especially my family.  I just didn't feel at home anymore.  That was a really weird part as well, Jamaica has become my home, and when I was back in the Bay Area, it didn't feel like home.  Now for somebody who has never really lived away from the bay, that's just a mind blower.  So if you saw me when I was visiting and I seemed a little "off" that's what was going on in my head.  When I'm done with my service and I move back to the states I'm wondering how I'm going to feel.  I guess it will just take some time to get readjusted.

To my friends and family, please don't take any of that the wrong way.  You all made me feel so missed and welcomed back, this is just an experience that's all new to me.